The Inner Game

by Mark Rubenstein

September 30, 2003

"Your toughest opponent is yourself." How many times have you heard that? I thought it was just a way of saying that if you don't keep learning, your own limitations will keep you from getting stronger. How wrong I was! 

I was playing the fifth round of the U.S. Open at the 2003 Congress. I had moved down a couple of tables since the beginning and was now taking Black against a 5 kyu who had won most of his games. Early in the game, I felt a twinge of happiness when my opponent blundered and I played a low approach, forming a nice extension along the top. All my opponent had was a loose formation in the upper left and two star points on the lower side. When he jumped into the upper right corner at the 3-3, my heart leaped. It was much too early for him to invade and after the standard joseki  ensued I had a lovely wall facing perfectly placed black stones.

When White jumped out towards the middle, I thought the game was already over. I had thickness on top, territory on the bottom, and all he had was two star-point stones and two weak groups. If I could prevent those weak groups from connecting, the game would be mine. It was only move 32, but I was confident. There was only one place White could connect his weak groups but I wanted more. I found a move that increased the size of my corner group, limited White's ability to expand into the corner, and protected my one-point jump. Three purposes for one move: that'll show him! When Black calmly wedged into my one-point jump, I realized I had misread and was now in atari and that I was the one who had been cut apart. I lost.

Reviewing the game later, my friend Joe Carl said, "I know exactly what your problem is, because I have it too. It's pride. You thought you were so far ahead that your opponent should resign! You were too proud to connect; after all, the game was already yours." He was right. I saw the connection as a weak move, not because the stones were weak, but because connecting implied that I was weak. I was too proud to make the proper move.

"Your toughest opponent is yourself." Now I know what that means. It's not about knowledge of the game but about knowledge of oneself.

Rubenstein, 4k, is president of the Evanston (IL) Go Club.

- edited by Katherine Wolfthal

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