Beginner's Mind

by Aria von Elbe

January 19, 2004

"Well, welcome" were the first words I heard from someone who actually plays go. I'd read about the game, studied the rules, and downloaded "The Way to Go" from the AGA website, but this was the first time I'd been able to meet someone who was willing to teach me how to play. Then I looked around the small Border's cafe in Miami and realized I wasn't just the youngest one there; I was the only girl. Welcome to the go world, populated mainly by men and with so few people under the age of 18 that, as I've learned the game over the last year, I've sometimes wondered what I've gotten myself into.

That doesn't mean I don't like it. Quite the contrary, in fact. For anyone who doesn't play go, it's hard to put into words how I feel, but for those who do, well, you understand. It's the feeling of the go stones in your hand, the sound of stone hitting wood, that makes it all worthwhile. All those hours of studying problems without avail, trying to analyze professional games and realizing just how horrible you are, playing on 9x9 boards for seemingly forever and then 13x13 before finally moving onto 19x19.

And just when you feel like you're never ever going to get better, maybe because of school work and exams that keep you from practicing or those people on IGS who keep beating you even with 9 stones, you show up at that little café in Borders every Thursday night and see those people who are helping you learn the game. And yes, they're all men, and yes, all at least 20 years older than me but they're helping me slowly but surely get there. Helping me get to the point where I feel confident enough about my game not to be intimidated and not to care about whether I win or lose. Happy to sit down, play a good game, lose by 40 points and be able to say, honestly, "Yes, it is worth it." -15-year-old Aria von Elbe is a 10th-grader in Miami, Florida.

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